My First Love, My True Love

Eight years ago today I married my love! 

He has been my constant and my strength.  

The ride is just beginning full of hope but going way faster than I'd like!  

We have nearly quadrupled our family with our five little loves. 

Accepting our weaknesses...

Most of my life it has been my mission to be self-sufficient and completely capable.  This is a good thing and a bad thing.  When it comes to marriage it can be a very bad thing.  It leads to an unwillingness to let go and let your partner in.  It has always been an effort and a duty I have placed upon myself to be able to do everything that I couldn't cheaply pay someone to do for me should any calamity (God forbid.)  ever happen to Mark.  There is a dangerous balance though to be able to do it, while not actually doing it ALL by myself.  And there have been many periods of time I've failed to be a good partner.  But yesterday, I was reminded that it doesn't matter if I can care for the house and barn and kids and stuff...there are just somethings that send me to the floor more helpless than a small child.  Thankfully, the Lord blessed me with a man that truly is my match.  While it is easy for me to notice his shortcomings, at least as far as I see them and they are truly trivial...he leaves his socks everywhere, he can fall asleep anywhere at anytime, and if I don't ask for help...yup, he'll let me do it by myself (anything! and everything!).  But he is strong and caring and when I fall, he stands and supports everything and makes the world right.

I wish my baby hadn't gotten hurt to remind me of this again!

Hamming it up for the camera!

Last night, I was bathing the four bigger kids in the garden tub while Mark went out to mow the grass.  It was time to get out and we always go oldest to youngest as an exit strategy from the tub.  Well, I called time to get out and both Fia and Finn stood, Finn lost his footing and slipped into the water banging his head on one of the molded jut outs...there was a gash in his forehead.  Scooped him out and Fia ran for Mark...we were both standing in the driveway screaming for Mark.  I couldn't even look at Finn.  All I knew was he was breathing (and not screaming or crying?!) and there was no blood, there is supposed to be blood lots of blood with a head injury?!...  Got Mark, the naked wet Fia and Finn back in the house.  All I could do was sit on the bed and hold him, Mark checked him and determined that the ER was necessary.  So as I became completely frozen gathering insurance cards and storybooks, Mark dressed him and got them out the door to the hospital.  I curled into a ball on the bathroom floor trying to compose myself enough to get the other 2 girls out and dressed so I could call my mom!  You see despite being able to birth and care for 5 kids, move feed and hay, start a fire, etc etc etc...I can't CAN NOT handle blood and injuries.  Haven't ever been able too, I always thought it would be different with my kids, but nope.  So with renewed appreciation for my husband, I must change 2 things ASAP...1st bathes will now only be taken in the small tub 1-2 kiddos at a time with Mark in the house and second I'm buying bubble wrap and that is what they will wear until they leave our house!

Finn is doing fine, still seemingly un-phased by the incident and "super glued" back together!  It is going to be a week of "be careful" and "watch his head"...but we are on the mend.
Lord, please help me to let go and more readily appreciate my husband!  Please protect our babies!

Reinventing Us!

The last 18 months have been a blur of job changes and moving and upending everything.  The last 18 hours have been the start of our new beginning.  The Roanoke house is empty (ginormous sigh of relief)!!!  And we are freed to move forward, to decide our direction and just be.  We still have A LOT of purging of "stuff"...the physical kind that has somehow overtaken and for one reason or another made this move with us.  Mark and I are both looking forward to this purge, the opportunity to let go of the physical baggage and create a better existence for us and the kids to grow in.  I'm hoping one that requires less sorting and organizing and way more playing and exploring.  We are both "we might need that one day" types so this is going to be a huge undertaking and I fear painful at times.  But we have the motivation toward creating more time and adventures with these little people.  There are always going to be things and events in the way of peace and time, but we are seeing a huge opportunity to make it easier to have both peace and time! 

It is Monday and Monday's are for motivating...we will again renew our efforts in the dreaded master bedroom (still aiming for completion by next Tuesday) and maybe plan a fun outing or trip as we unpack, post things to ebay, freecycle and craig's list and find the joy in less stuff, for more us!!! 

That is our master bedroom!  I hope it makes you feel better about a space in your house!  And now you know so I MUST prove that this is not us and go clean it and organize and make stuff leave this house...say a prayer as we enter...