Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thoughts And Hopes Are Overflowing

I've noticed something recently, I think (and pray) as if I'm writing.  Not sure if this is normal or not, but I see the words on the page...correct thought patterns and even spelling.  And once those thoughts are processed, they are released and cannot be recreated in the exact same way.  I really wish I could connect a printer or hard driver to this brain, because if the adage is correct I'm operating at -25% capacity.

My thoughts recently have surrounded our many beginnings.  The last nine years have been filled with the blessings of our beginnings; new love, marriage, new baby (x's 5), new jobs (x's 4), and on and on.  "Beginning" is so exhilarating and so full of hope, even for those of us who hate change. We are finding ourselves at a new beginning this time in the work and financial sphere and it is so exciting.  The prospect will entail a lot of work and dedication and complete family teamwork, but with that comes a lot of freedom.  We are still exploring the option of this "new" with all the emotions that come with ginormous decisions and changes.

As our family grows and educations near completion and careers are flowing on the upward path; our lives seem to me nearing the end of these beginnings and the plateau of the middle's.  At moments I long for the middle...a long, stable and flowing middle.  One where our kids can grow, we live in one place, and while never perfect things flow smoothly as if traveling along a lazy  river.  And then I look down and just want to freeze Mathilde in infancy, keeping all the babies babies, where my biggest fear is them fighting with each other and bandaging a boo-boo and giving away hugs to eager preschoolers.  But as this middle approaches in the next few years, I pray that we will all be wrapped in the love and security of each other and our God.
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Lord, please guide us in Your will!

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